16 Ridiculously Expensive Items You Can Buy On Amazon

Published By

For the preposterously rich who spend their days (we assume) bragging about who has the most impressive moat, $27,000 is chump change whether they’re spending it on a coffee table or a hand-carved dragon. For the rest of us, such expensive Amazon purchases are relegated to water cooler musings about the dumb ways we’ll spend our winnings with our coworkers who also kicked in for the lottery pool. Except, of course, for the guy who says “I dunno, probably keep working and just invest it.”

By the way, Guy Who Says That: We know you’re lying, and you can’t be in the lottery pool anymore.
Whether you came into your wealth the old-fashioned way (inheriting it from a miser) or are planning your post-jackpot spending spree, the fine sellers at Amazon dot com have you covered. With an array of high ticket items ranging from the weird to the wonderful, here are 16 ways to blow through old and new money alike, right from the comfort of your needlessly expensive diamond-studded sofa.

Giant T-Rex Dinosaur Sculpture

Giant T-Rex Dinosaur Sculpture

Introduce yourself to your fancy new neighbors and let them know what you’re about by installing a mini-golf-quality tyrannosaurus rex sculpture on your exquisitely manicured lawn. Weighing in at 600 lbs and standing over 11 feet tall, the resin and fiberglass predator ships in two pieces for the bargain price of about fifteen grand. Rated an impressive 4.3 out of 5 stars by two (not verified) reviewers who, fairly, adjusted their rating to reflect that the T Rex is not, in fact, life-size. – Shop Now

Thomas Jefferson Letter Signed During the War of 1812

Thomas Jefferson Letter Signed During the War of 1812

4 facts about Thomas Jefferson: He tried to assemble a mastodon fossil in the White House. He kept a Shetland Ram on the White House lawn that killed a child. He once tried to ship a moose to France to prove a point. In 1813, he sent a letter to a friend of a friend, hitting him up for $100.

For thirty-eight grand, this very letter can hang in your home as a daily reminder that you make better decisions than the third US president most of the time. – Shop Now

Patek Phillippe Nautilus 40th Anniversary Limited Edition 18K White Gold Watch

Patek Phillippe Nautilus 40th Anniversary Limited Edition 18K White Gold Watch

This 18k white gold limited edition Swiss chronograph watch marks each hour with a baguette cut diamond set in the anti reflective sapphire face. At first glance, the nearly a quarter-of-a-million dollars price tag may seem like an unjustifiable extravagance, but with only 1300 produced, scarcity is also at play. And there’s more for the bargain hunter here than meets the eye. First of all, shipping is FREE, which will save you a few ducats. Combine those savings with the seventy whole dollars you’ll save from opening a new Prime Rewards Visa Card, and you’ve got a whole new ball game. – Shop Now

Eric Clapton Fender Strat

Eric Clapton Fender Strat

An Eric Clapton owned and played guitar is cool enough on its own, but this one earns some bonus points. The Custom Shop Fender Strat was, per the seller, “assembled specifically under the technical guidance of Clapton.” One of the primary guitars used on his 2014 world tour and during his 2015 Royal Albert Hall performance, it comes with a Letter of Provenance signed by Clapton. Interested buyers are advised to move fast on this one: If you don’t think Dave Grohl will stumble upon this listing and buy it for one of his kids, you’re wrong: that is EXACTLY the sort of thing Dave Grohl would do before flying to NJ to take me out for a nice dinner. – Shop Now

King Kong 1933 Argentine Poster

King Kong 1933 Argentine Poster

Cinephiles, rejoice: this original poster from the 1933 Argentinian release of King Kong can grace the walls of your in-home theater for a measly $75k. What’s that, you ask? Is it truly an original from the 1933 release? Unclear, but the seller seems confident, they have a 98% seller rating, and it ships free. What do you really have to lose? – Shop Now

FROG-4000 Gas Chromatograph

FROG-4000 Gas Chromatograph

If your job includes the need to quickly and accurately determine the presence of volatile organic compounds, the last thing you need is snark from us. We’re not looking to dish it out, either: this is a useful little chromatograph. In fact, it’s the smallest chromatograph for VOC analysis in the world and the lightest weight on the market. Whether you’re tasked with testing in the field or just willing to invest 28 thousand dollars in obtaining ten-minute vapor intrusion results in your new seaside villa, your very own chromatograph is only one click (and two weeks) away. – Shop Now

Mother of Pearl Inlay Asian Coffee Table

Mother of Pearl Inlay Asian Coffee Table

Sold by Antique Alive Home Decor, this 59” x 14.6” coffee table is not, in fact, an antique. What it is, is made to order. Using mother of pearl inlay, the $25,000 (+$86.71 assembly) table is handmade with a crane and pine tree design followed by a lacquer finish. Add on roughly sixteen hundred dollars for shipping and you have one fancy new accent table to proudly display in that front room that nobody who actually lives in your house is allowed to sit in. – Shop Now

Pablo Picasso’s Jacqueline au Bandeau Woodcut

Pablo Picasso’s Jacqueline au Bandeau Woodcut

This 33” x 29” framed woodcut, Jacqueline au Bandeau, is signed and numbered and is one of the more than 400 images of Jacqueline Roque that came from the twenty years she spent as Pablo Picasso’s muse and wife. In 1953, 72-year-old Picasso pursued 26-year-old Roque for six months until she agreed to date him. Her image, captured here in 1962, now fetches for a current price of $125k (with free Prime shipping!) – Shop Now

Hasselblad H6D-100C Medium Format DSLR Camera

Hasselblad H6D-100C Medium Format DSLR Camera

Hasselblad is both a fun name to say out loud, and the manufacturer of high-end professional-grade cameras. Their H6D-100C Medium Format DSLR boasts the highest quality output of any digital camera on the market today (100 mp). What does that mean to the layperson? It has a larger sensor than other hobby or professional-grade cameras, allowing for lifelike images with incredible clarity, even in low or bright lighting. There’s much more to it, but at nealry 30 thousand bucks, potential buyers will either already know or have too much money to care. – Shop Now

Romtec “The Tracker” Pre-Fabricated Cabin

Romtec “The Tracker” Pre-Fabricated Cabin

If you thought you couldn’t buy a house on Amazon, you thought wrong. The Romtec 2027ES prefabricated cabin is a 230 square foot home with a spacious 6’ x 3’ covered porch. The Tracker model serves best as a hunting or fishing cabin, as the single-room living space is without toilet or cooking facilities. Nearly $60K buys you the assembled home, delivered and set-in-place on your foundation. Outhouse sold separately. – Shop Now

Wenger 16999 Giant Swiss Army Knife

Wenger 16999 Giant Swiss Army Knife

Disappointingly, this is not, as you might have assumed, a giant knife. It is, however, one heck of a knife. The Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant has 87 implements and performs 141 functions. At $8500, you’ll find that you break even after using the toothpick only 3.4 million times, not to mention that you’ll save 1.3 billion toothpicks worth of trees. – Shop Now

Lladro Niagara Chandelier

Lladro Niagara Chandelier

Are you into fairy figurines? Who among us isn’t? If you find your sleep delayed night after night by the lack of fairy-themed chandeliers in your foyer, good news is coming your way. Enter the Lladro Niagra chandelier, featuring 112 x 78 inches of handmade fairies cascading from the ceiling, lighting up your previously fairy-deficient space with the latest in fiber optic technology. The $90,000 chandelier ships free, and savvy shoppers will no doubt want to kill two fairies with one stone and use their new Wenger 16999 to complete their own installation. – Shop Now

Babe Ruth Autographed Baseball

Babe Ruth Autographed Baseball

A Babe Ruth autographed baseball is the centerpiece of any serious baseball memorabilia collector’s universe, in addition to being the centerpiece of 1993’s greatest film about a ragtag group of young baseball players. The American League baseball comes with a letter of authenticity from PSA/DNA Authentication Services and is rated in excellent condition, unlike Smalls’ stepdad’s ball after Benny’s rescue attempt. Get it for nearly $125,000 or make the seller an offer. – Shop Now

Heimplanet Mavericks Tent

Heimplanet Mavericks Tent

The Heimplanet Mavericks Tent bears the distinction of being one of the most useful and least expensive products we found. The inflatable base camp fits ten people and is designed to handle winds up to 111 mph. With 6 foot tall interior and 142 square feet of ground area, the Mavericks tent comes with a repair kit and packsack. $6000 seems a worthwhile investment for safe, portable shelter in extreme conditions. – Shop Now

1838 Gobrecht Seated Dollar Coin

1838 Gobrecht Seated Dollar Coin

Gobrecht dollars were minted from 1836 to 1839 in the United States by engraver Christian Gobrecht using images from Thomas Sully and Titian Peale. During the official production run, several variations were produced with modified designs, including a small number in 1838 that did not include Gobrecht’s initials. The result? Very few of these coins were circulated, and the few remaining are exceedingly rare. As with all rare collectibles, the market determines the value. Right now, the market would appear to indicate that this $1 coin is valued at $236,284.57. – Shop Now

Natural-Lapis-hand-carved-dragons

Natural Lapis Hand Carved Dragons

At 29 inches tall, this is the tallest natural stone carving of dragons we considered buying today. Hand carved in traditional Chinese style out of 11136g natural Lapis Lazuli, it displays nine dragons playing with a pearl and sits on a base of rhododendron branches. An auspicious symbol in traditional Chinese culture, dragons are said to bring good fortune. At $27,000, we’ll need an advance on that good fortune before adding this one to our cart. – Shop Now

Make your friends jealous!

Subscribe and get the latest goods straight to your inbox.